is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im six kinds of drunk right now
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
