you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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