I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
