Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
