Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
