awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize