So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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