if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
