just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Enjoy the penises
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
