Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize