I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize