He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i love accidental penises.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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