its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
