you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
