But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
