I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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