And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
