Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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