She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
