dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I want her autograph on my taint
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i've created a new STD.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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