The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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