Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
