I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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