my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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