He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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