Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
