btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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