Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
