We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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