So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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