I wanna bring you to show and tell
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You can't just leave with hair like that
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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