And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
