No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
