every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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