Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
