my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
