Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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