i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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