Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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