did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
