it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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