If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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