You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
