Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize