discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
