He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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