Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
