Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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