I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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