you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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