I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
