I cockslap morals
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize