we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize