We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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