Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just pee around me
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
