Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just invented taco cereal.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
