Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
